stripped to sentiment

Calico Kitten

I am made of the stuff of batteries, lithium-carbonate pulsating through my polarized veins. I exist through Bukowski’s novels, breathing in alcoholic lies and misogyny with every syllable. I am a person with Bipolar II disorder, with acute instances of hypomania.

You swept me away, your Lolita, killing me and capturing me with your words. We exchanged gifts of sadness. We destroyed and ravished each other with love and promises of a future. I fell in love with your voice.

So I am holding onto you and hypomania, this bitch of a whirlwind that tosses me up, letting me fall down. I am scared that I will lose the love I have for you. I am scared that you will keep whirling, running. I am scared that when the dust and debris settles, you will realize you never loved me at all.

I keep on spinning.

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